Fundamental Scandals

Things have never been better since the big sex scandal!

After Bob Gray, founder of my alma mater, Trinity Christian Academy  was arrested for child molestation, Trinity officials told the media things were never better at TCA!  Enrollment was up  and everything was ‘a-okay’!  Same here with First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana.  Even though Jack Schaap, the pastor was arrested and pleaded guilty to charges of transporting a minor across state lines for sexual purposes, things have just been amazingly great at First Baptist Church.

So, if your church is having problems with attendance or donations are falling flat, consider a sex scandal!  After all, past testimonies reveal when one hits your church, everybody starts talking like Tony the Tiger, “Things are. . .GREEATTTT!”

Don’t believe me?  Check out the video by First Baptist’s interim pastor, Eddie Lapina, talking about how wonderful things are at the fundamentalist mecca.


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